Dear Self Degradation...

Dear Self Degradation,

You don't own me.

You can't make me feel worthless.

You can't make me feel like my life doesn't matter.

You can't make me want to kill myself and leave this life.

Why?

Because I know you're wrong. 

How do I know that?

Because my God is bigger than all that.

I used to feel like I wasn't enough for everyone...not a good enough daughter to my parents, sister to my siblings, friend to the people I care about, and girlfriend to my amazing boyfriend...but that's over.

I know now that I was wrong. There's a reason they all love me. It's because deep down they choose to...because I AM enough for them.

On top of that, I can feel like a bad Christian. Like I'll never be good enough, not doing enough, not spiritual enough, etc. 

I know now that it's not about what I do...it's about how much God loves me regardless of what I do. It's about how He loved me enough to send His Son to die for me so that He can look at me as a child. Oh, and how as His child, my worth doesn't change no matter what I do.

You know what too?

I can prove it. I can prove He loves me. Yes, He does. Enough to die for me. I can prove He views me as His child. I can prove He puts me in a high enough position to make me His heir along with His perfect Son. And it's all because of Jesus. Take a look at these verses:

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 
-Romans 8:28

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 
-2 Corinthians 5:17

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." 
-John 3:16

"And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ..." 
-Romans 8:17b

All in all, I'm saying that I can't believe bad things about myself anymore. Because if I'm really not good enough for anyone, it's only that I'm not good enough for myself. It's that I feel I won't meet the standards I think everyone thinks I should...but those are all made up in my head. I'm enough for God. I'm enough for my family. I'm enough for my friends. I'm enough for my boyfriend. I should be enough for myself. I will keep growing in Christ, but just because I'm perfect doesn't make me worthless. 

So self degradation...our relationship has to be over. 

Sincerely,
Sydney